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TALKIN 'BOUT A RESOLUTION
Resolve to ring in 2011 with realistic solutions focused on long-term gains.
Last year you got serious and in one fell swoop vowed to clean up your finances, lose your love handles and switch careers. How did that all work out? Oh, that's right, you dropped the ball. Turns out, that "New Year, New You" action plan you set in motion annually is about as unrealistic as your expectations (maybe it's time to leave the international do-gooding to Angelina Jolie and volunteer locally?).To help you stay focused on your New Year commitments, we asked certified life coach, Johanna Beyer, who has coached both Fortune 500 companies and individuals, to test your resolve. First she reveals the true modus operandi of the band-aid way-out—a set-up for failure—and then challenges you to seek a long-term solution for a life transformation.
A cultural obsession
Why do we put ourselves through the perpetual set-commit-fail cycle of making New Year resolutions? "People are obsessed with resolutions because naming a tangible goal feels good in the moment," Beyer explains. "It gives people something to strive for that feels contained and controlled. It is easier for people to identify what they want to accomplish than to think about why they authentically want to make a change in their life."The absence of the "why" Beyer refers to is indicative of that cultural sinkhole we call immediate gratification—act now, think later. This mentality is not only harmful to individuals, but also to society-at-large, as it encourages us to operate from a place of impulsivity rather than rationality, which leads to a host of measurable issues.
The sticking point
One of the biggest problems with making resolutions, and keeping them, notes Beyer, is that their outcomes are often too limiting or too overwhelming. Thus, the moment we fail to "stick" to our come-hell-or-high-water commitments, we experience swift disappointment, all but prompting the white flag to unfurl.To avoid this all too common pitfall, Beyer advises focusing on understanding the qualities of what true, fulfilling success looks like in our lives. "It is the qualities, not the hard-set resolutions that will ultimately inspire us each day to move towards our visions," she says. "Don't wait to do imagined activities of the future; bring them into your life now. Wake up each day, and do your best to be your fullest self."
Resolve to unresolve
But how to do this when we've been conditioned to do the exact opposite? Give yourself a healthy dose of get real. Prior to setting a doable New Year's resolution, from which a realistic outcome and lasting effect will likely manifest, heed the following advice:- Ask yourself why and how the particular resolution will make a real difference to your life—and be specific.
- Determine if the resolution truly inspires you or merely motivates you. Aim for inspiration, advises Beyer, who explains that motivation is driven by a "should" mentality, whereas "inspiration" is about following your heart and what naturally gives you energy and fulfillment."
- Asses whether or not your resolution allows you to impact people in a positive way, which gives your goal and your life a deeper, more meaningful purpose. Focus on the bigger picture—think of all the ways you might help people if you were in better shape then merely shedding 10 pounds, for example.
- Think about the littlest thing you can do each day that will bring you closer to achieving your goal. Start small as to not overwhelm yourself and focus on taking little actions that will lead to key, quantifiable shifts.
- And finally, celebrate small victories and live in gratitude. Acknowledge and be grateful for mini-achievements related to your resolution, and to your life.
To help you shift your focus from making short-term gains to long-term life changes, Certified Life Coach Johanna Beyer offers up grounded solutions for some of the most popular New Year resolutions.
THE RESOLUTION: "Save Money"
THE SOLUTION: Seek future gains, not immediate gratification. Saving money is no fun unless you create real milestones to celebrate—a trip or a new piece of furniture to add to your home. Saving for the purpose of savoring lasting moments will inspire you to save every day.THE RESOLUTION: "Lose Weight"
THE SOLUTION: Concentrate on well-being. What type of movement and exercise brings joy into your life? The more positive emotions you bring into your body and mind, the more likely you are to stick with a plan that will eventually, through hard work joy not mental anguish and pain, lose weight and drop bad habits.THE RESOLUTION: "Help Others"
THE SOLUTION: Collaborate on a community project. It is difficult to create new opportunities when life gets busy, but making time to link up with an organized community project will expose you to new people and ideas, as well as cultivate pride about your contribution.THE RESOLUTION: "Switch jobs"
THE SOLUTION: Do quality work. When making a career transition, build a bridge to a new job, rather than quit cold turkey with no options. Focus on making a quality contribution on the job—always perform at the highest level every day. Take time to also research new organizations and set up as many meetings with people who are doing purposeful work. Learn about them and share your mutual vision with the organization's key decision makers.THE RESOLUTION: "Embrace change"
THE SOLUTION: Have one big ambition. Start with a small change that feels manageable. For instance, if you want to build more community into your life, look for a book club or join a sports team. Being clear about what you are ready to bring into your life is an excellent way to streamline decisions regarding where to focus your time and energy.THE RESOLUTION: "Manage stress"
THE SOLUTION: Embrace aloneness. "Alone" is far different than "lonely." One of the best ways to recuperate and pull in your energy is be alone. In a culture where we have become addicted to being busy, this is somewhat challenging. If, however, you give time to sink into the space, it can do wonders to reduce stress because you are doing what is necessary to reenergize yourself for that which brings you joy.THE RESOLUTION: "Spend more time with friends"
THE SOLUTION: Evaluate relationships—don't settle for less than you deserve. Feeling connected to friends and being social is important for happiness, but rank "quality" over "quantity." Spend time with individuals who make you feel comfortable in revealing your authentic self. Make plans with friends who require and give positive energy and equal effort to the relationship to deepen social connections.THE RESOLUTION: "Embrace change"
THE SOLUTION: Accept the incremental. The concept that little changes can make huge impact in your life over time is 100 percent worth embracing. If you have wanted to try yoga, for example, commit to taking one class in a month—that's it. You may do more, but over time these yoga classes will add up and positively impact in your life. They may even lead to a healthy new obsession to add to your workout toolbox.THE RESOLUTION: "Travel more"
THE SOLUTION: Take inexpensive mini-trips. When you think about the dream destinations you are dying to visit but cannot for a compelling reason such as a lack of funds, explore the qualities of how those travel experiences would feel and duplicate it at home. Want to swim in the mineral baths in Tel Aviv? Make an appointment for some hydrotherapy at your favorite Atlanta spa. Dying to test your culinary palate abroad? Try fantastic international cuisine right here at home. Whatever type of adventure you seek, be creative about how you bring adventure and curiosity into your life.THE RESOLUTION: "Set goals"
THE SOLUTION: Define what you really want. Setting goals is all about process and learning to live in the moment. In order to be proud of your journey, you need the tools to build yourself up. The more time you spend considering the people, things, and prospects into your life, your ability to attract them will increase (that whole mind over matter idea still works!). It is not enough to mere wake up and "greet the day," you must keep your eyes open for opportunities that fill you up and peak your curiosity—and have the courage to go after them. A clear definition of what you want is the litmus test of what you will receive.Reach certified life coach, Johanna Beyer, online at onyourpathconsulting.com, or email her at johannabeyer@gmail.com.

